Before you start.
Everything here is an offer — there are no judgments.
Consider this the beginning of a self-guided healing journey. This site asks you to notice and think — which most days you can do without trying. A very hard day can take that away for a little while. If you can’t focus, get steadier first and come back. If it’s more than that, see If you need someone now.
But when you’re ready, the wheel gives you a word to start with. The lists give you the first questions to ask and a suggestion of who to ask. Build from the essence of self-care and leave what doesn’t apply — only you will know what feels right.
Seek professional guidance for legal, financial, and medical matters.
Everywhere else on this site, we dim the wheel to what people commonly feel.
Here it is, undimmed. All of it is available to you, in any combination, at any time, for as long as you need it. Nothing on this wheel is the wrong answer.
What each part is for.
- What You’re Feeling. A word for what you’re feeling. Start in the middle; it gets more exact as you move outward.
- What You’re Going Through. Pick the moment you’re in and it opens on one page — what it looks like (the shape of it, and an idea of “normal”) and how to deal (the first questions to ask, who to ask, and what could be left for later).
- What May Help. Ideas and suggestions on what to eat, what to listen to, and how to move for a given feeling.
- The Resources. Books and cards to print or keep at home; the free ones need no account.
- A Quiet Journal. Free undated pages to print — refillable, for when you want somewhere to put it down.
Two ways to use this.
You don’t have to read all of it and you don’t have to read it in order. Pick whichever is easier right now.
One
Follow one feeling across the site.
If it is a feeling more than an event, start with the wheel and find the word. Begin in the middle and move outward — the outer word is usually the one you actually meant. Then carry that one word through the site: What You’re Going Through for the shape of it and what to do, and What May Help for the feeling. One thread, one feeling at a time, as far as you want to go.
Two
Or start with what happened.
If something specific has happened — a death, an accident, leaving the service — go straight to its page. Each one stands on its own, so you can read only that and nothing else. Type what happened into the wheel on the home page, or open What You’re Going Through and choose it from the menu.
Nothing you tap is saved or sent anywhere, there is no account, and you can leave whenever you want. If you are not sure where to begin, the wheel is the gentlest door.
One instruction and only one.
We can offer you words for your feelings but we don’t know you and we’re not in the room.
So if today is worse than a bad day — or if there have just been too many to count — don’t sit with a website. Tell a person. And maybe be near some.
That’s the only thing on this entire site we’d insist on.